So, I woke up the other day in a beautiful spot.
I was in between.
It’s the only way I can describe it.
There’s a big part of me that wages a battle between letting go completely and working neurotically and worrying about everything because that’s how I will reach my dreams.
You hear from everywhere that you have to “Let it Go”
But if you just let it go, then…. what?
What are you going to do? You’d just stay there. Nothing would get done.
On the other hand, if you hold on to everything and run, run run all the time you flame out spectacularly.
I’ve struggled with this for a long time.
But these past few days I’ve found myself in between. I’m getting things done without worry. Good things. Things that take work.
I know I will lose this place soon enough. But I’m still there and I’m doing my best to imprint this feeling and remember it. Remember how I got there. How centered I am.
I think a lot of it has to do with letting go of expectations.
I dropped a lot of the “I should be doing this by now”. Things haven’t worked out how I thought they would.
That’s not to say I’m not happy, or that something is wrong. I am happy. I’m not married with kids and the house with the picket fence yet, certainly not rich, but what I’m getting in life is awesome and it’s me.
I feel a rolling stone song coming on…
Anyways, I’m not saying I have the answer here, but I do have this feeling that if I let myself, I can conjure up and I believe it’s a powerful feeling. I’m riding the wave rather than letting break on me or it carrying me away.
I’m going to keep riding until I get knocked off and have to climb back on.